


You Can't Keep a Secret If it Never Was a Secret to Start

by Wonderland_Awaits



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Compassionate!Brian, M/M, Post-1.10, Roadtrip
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-24
Updated: 2012-10-24
Packaged: 2017-11-16 22:40:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/544629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wonderland_Awaits/pseuds/Wonderland_Awaits
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set on the way home from NYC (1.10) Brian accidentally lets Justin in on what he thinks is a secret</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Can't Keep a Secret If it Never Was a Secret to Start

**Author's Note:**

> Prompted to my askbox by malicekisses.tumblr.com

Christ, I thought nothing could be as bad as the drive to New York. I was mistaken—nothing can be worse than this. Justin’s sitting shotgun (which is pissing Michael off to no end but it’s not like I had a choice) and Emmett, Theodore and Michael are crammed together in the back seat and no one will shut the fuck up. They’re all singing show tunes…loudly. I’ve given Justin my “what the fuck do you think you’re doing” look a couple of times but he doesn’t seem bothered by it anymore. Shit. This singing crap has to stop or I’ll drive us all off a fucking bridge.

As we cross the Pennsylvania state boarder, it’s blissfully quiet. It seems that my friends overestimated their ability to deal with a roadtrip of this magnitude at their ages. I can’t help but laugh quietly and shake my head; I’ve been doing all the driving and fucking on this trip and I haven’t even yawned. Pathetic. 

Unfortunately, a certain blond drama princess is still wide a-fucking-wake although he’s not talking. Thank god for small miracles. When I look over at him I can tell that he’s fighting tears and that’s never a good thing. Tears will end in a queening out that makes Godiva’s temper tantrums seem calm. I’ve got to put a stop to this. Now. 

“What the fuck’s your problem,” I ask rather bluntly. Subtlety isn’t exactly my thing, in case anyone’s forgotten. He looks over at me with a slightly confused look in his eyes, like he doesn’t know if I’m talking to him or not. Of course I’m fucking talking to him, he’s the only one that’s awake. Stupid twat.

I decide I’ll give him one more chance to stop being an idiot and tell me why he was about to cry. “Justin,” I begin giving him no room to question to whom the question is directed, “What’s. Wrong?” He shakes his head and mutters something under his breath that sounds an awful lot like the word “nothing.” Nothing, my ass. 

I don’t say anything else not because I’m giving up but because I know that while the silence is bliss to me, it’s torturous to him. He’ll spill any second now. 3…2…1…

“Okay, so we fucked but you still don’t want me, my parents still don’t want me and my life is still a fucking mess,” he finally replies, exhaling the words all in one breath. This fucking kid, I swear.

“Did I, or did I not, say that we’ll figure it out once we find somewhere for you to live?” The words leave my mouth far more gently than I’d intended them to. Fuck, he’s going to get all emotional on me now. It’s never done me any good to be gentle when talking to Justin—he always reads way too much into it. 

Apparently not this time, though, because he lets out a laugh that’s bordering on scathing. I glance over at him with a question written all over my face. He knows I’m asking exactly what the fuck is so laughable. 

“Don’t pretend you’re going to help me with any of this, Brian. I’m not stupid. We’ll get back to Pittsburgh and you’ll go back to being pissed at me and pretending that I don’t exist. So be mad all you want but don’t fucking lie to me.” His words are saturated with hurt and despair and bitterness, so much so that I almost flinch. I know what it’s like to feel like no one in the world gives a shit and it’s not something I’d wish on him or anyone else. So when I respond, my voice is almost gentle.

“I don’t lie. If I didn’t want to help you, I think we both know that I wouldn’t.” He says nothing so I continue, “It sucks that your dad is such a bastard but you can’t fix that and there’s no way in hell I’ll let you go back to that shit. We’ll make some calls when we get back. I’m sure someone will agree to let you stay with them. Though why, I have no idea.” I finish my sentence with a teasing remark and smile in hopes of cheering him up. He’s always pretty but he’s fucking beautiful when he smiles. Not that I’ll ever admit that out loud. 

I take a quick look in the rear view mirror, checking that everyone in the back seat is still asleep. It wouldn’t bode well for any of them to hear the conversation I’m having with Justin. I’d never hear the end of it. Ever. 

Assured that no one else is awake, I look over at Justin again. He has the slightest hint of a smile playing at his lips. My joke at his expense must have worked. Thank god. A queening out of massive proportions is no longer in the forecast. 

“Oh I’m sure you could think of a few reasons someone might keep me around,” he declares, flirtatious smile firmly in place. It takes everything I have not to let those words go to my dick. Why he can do shit like this to me, I have no idea but it’s really inconvenient when I’m continuously trying to make him leave me alone. The little shit.

“Yes, Sunshine, I’m sure I could too but I don’t think that letting you live with someone who would only use you for sexual release would be a very responsible move on my part. Do you?” He knows I’m challenging him. If he can give me one perfectly good reason to keep him around, I will. But I know he can’t and so does he. So instead, he simply laughs quietly. 

“I’ll call Deb when we get back to Pittsburgh and drop everyone off. I’m sure she’d be more than happy to let you stay with her,” I pause to see if he has any objection to this. He doesn’t. “I know she’s not your mom but she wasn’t mine either and still managed to do a pretty decent job with me.” The words are out of my mouth before I realize I’m thinking them and fuck me, I didn’t mean to share that thought with him or anyone else. 

“I’m practically an adult, Brian. I’ll be okay,” he says in that smug tone he gets when he knows he’s got me in a corner. Fuck, fuck, fuck! This is what I get for trying to be nice to the kid. 

“You may think you’re all grown up but you’ve got a long way to go. Lesson the first, don’t fucking steal people’s credit cards,” I practically growl out but I don’t give a fuck. He’s pissed me off yet again. He’s got an exceptional aptitude for that. 

He only laughs back at me. “It’s okay to admit that you’re worried about me and want me staying with someone who you know will take care of me.” There’s that patronizing tone again. This little fucker is so gonna get it when we get back. Whether I’m going to shove him out of my moving vehicle or fuck him within an inch of his life is yet to be decided.

“Shut the fuck up, Sunshine,” I sigh, sounding defeated. I can’t help it—he’s a nuisance, really. He doesn’t respond, just continues to smile and watch the scenery fly by the window.

As I walk into my office the morning after we get back from the roadtrip that never should have been, everything seems to be right with the world, yet again. Sunshine is staying with Debbie, I once again have my loft to myself, and Justin is beginning to work on paying me back the money he stole by taking shifts at the Diner. No one should look that good in an apron. No one.

I’ve just sat down at my desk when my phone rings and lo and behold it’s Justin. Why the fuck he’s calling me this early in the morning is a mystery but I’m feeling generous this morning, so I answer him.

“How was the first night in the Novotny household?” I ask in greeting. He responds with a laugh. 

“Deb’s taking great care of me, if that’s what you’re getting at,” his voice soft with the smile I know is gracing his face.

“Why would I care about that? I just wanted to know if I could laugh at Mikey next time I see him, knowing you’ve jerked off in the bed that he slept in throughout his childhood. He’ll be traumatized.” Yes, I’m full of shit. Yes, I want to know he’s being taken care of. Yes, I care about the little fucker. But he doesn’t know that.

“Uh huh. Brian, when are you going to admit that you actually care about what happens to me? You think you’ve got everyone fooled but let me tell you something, Mr. Kinney…I’ve got your number. Deb was great and I talked to my mom last night when I got back. I’ve gotta go now or I’ll be late for school. I just wanted to call and say thank you.” And with that the phone disconnects.

Apparently I was wrong.


End file.
